Hopefully you are past the days of your child throwing a tantrum in the floor when you tell them you absolutely will not buy them their 50th Barbie or Ninjago Character. There’s a phrase that surrounds kids like this-spoiled brat. No parent wants a spoiled child, so why is it so hard to say NO, when we know NO is the best answer?
Check out this incredible video that gives us an idea as parents how to de-spoil our children.
So what about you? As you think through setting limits, being consistent and providing choices, which of these is most important for you right now? Is there one you struggle with more than the other?
Take some time to develop a plan for one of these areas and then practice being consistent with it!
As you read the first part of the session and watched the video about selfishness, I’m sure you found yourself saying, “YEP, my child can definitely be selfish!” Here’s the reality-WE ALL ARE! Each of us looks for ways to get what we want out of life. Yeah, we say it’s not about us, but, in reality, most of us live like it is!
The Israelites thousands of years ago did this same thing after being freed from slavery. They found themselves in the desert asking for more; more food, more water, more leadership.
Here’s the problem the Israelites found themselves in, and one we need to take heed of when it comes to parenting: The Israelites did NOT keep the end in mind! God was delivering them to the promised land for goodness sake, but all they could focus on was not having what they wanted in the present.
Sound familiar! Our kids can’t focus on the end because developmentally they can’t think that far ahead. But WE can. As parents we can keep the end in mind and make choices accordingly! Do we want our children to grow up to be selfless or selfish, generous or greedy? When we parent with the end in mind it helps us make better decisions in the moment.
Ultimately, we want our children to be completely satisfied in Jesus. Hebrews 13:5:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.
So, when your kiddo asks for that next thing, whatever it may be big or small, let’s ask this question to them:
“Does this thing I desire help me become the person God has created me to be?”
This question helps us to keep the end in mind. And isn’t that the end goal, to help our children become the person God has created them to be?